Changing from the known to the unknown has presented me with exciting new opportunities for growth and discovery. While change is a constant part of life, I am learning to embrace it, whether it comes gradually or swiftly. Although adapting to certain changes can be challenging, I recognize that each change brings with it the potential for positive outcomes. Instead of giving up, I am trying to face these changes with resilience and optimism, knowing that they can lead to new and fulfilling experiences which is what I want.
I understand the struggle of trying to be consistent, and it can be really tough for me. Sometimes I think it’s natural to question whether it’s a matter of lacking drive, motivation, or even ambition, and that in itself has been difficult to come to terms with. Perhaps it’s not just about consistency, but also about commitment. Maybe changing my approach instead of giving up is how I get through this. This inner battle seems never-ending.
I’ve started and stopped writing for this blog numerous times, but I genuinely enjoy sharing my experiences and also recipes for cooking and baking. I have noticed that when upsetting moments occur, other areas of my life are affected which is quite evident with this blog. However, I’m actively working on overcoming past traumas and triggers that impact me daily. I believe that with dedication and determination, I can create a positive change that’s needed.
Doubt and fear have been consistent companions in my life, unfortunately, ingrained in me since childhood. At times, I find myself questioning the value of the content I share and produce, leading to self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy. This internal battle often feels like a lost cause, stemming from deep-rooted insecurities. Breaking through these barriers has proven to be an uphill struggle for me, and I admit, it has been incredibly challenging. I am determined to achieve a better life for myself, and I am fighting daily to make that dream a reality.
2024 has been a challenging year so far, as I’ve struggled to find the right balance between my desires and necessities. Despite facing numerous difficulties in recent months, I’ve made a conscious effort to approach everything with greater intention although it can be hard. While it’s important to act purposefully at all times, I must admit that I’ve often allowed myself to simply go with the flow and see where life takes me. Although there are benefits to this approach, navigating the world without clear intention has taken a toll on me.
Over the past little while, I have been making an effort to take things at a slower pace. Not coming to a complete halt, but gradually easing off, I’ve come to the realization that my life has been unnecessarily chaotic and fast-paced, all stemming from my childhood. This is a reality that I am learning to accept. I’ve never truly felt at ease, always feeling like I’m walking on eggshells or waiting for something to go wrong while navigating through life. I am determined to make this change and create the life I want. I am excited about the prospect of enjoying a peaceful life filled with comfort and joy, and I am prepared to work hard for it. Taking it one day at a time, I am committed to turning my life around and making my dream a reality. It’s my ultimate goal, and I am eager to make it happen and see where life takes me.
I’ve been yearning to take a step back for so long, and until recently, I had no idea what that would entail. I’ve begun embracing small activities that fill me with indescribable joy. One of the things I started doing (I began a few years ago and have been doing it consistently) is going for a daily walk. I walk intensely for 30 minutes as a form of exercise, and then I take a more leisurely stroll for about 20-30 minutes. I don’t limit myself to a fixed time, so there is no pressure and I get to enjoy my surroundings. I love listening to the rustling sounds the trees make when the wind passes, the melodic sounds of the birds, and the quietness of the atmosphere, I even enjoy watching planes fly overhead. I also listen to my favourite songs or podcasts. This is something that lowers my anxiety and brings calm to my life. My walks have always been a source of peaceful moments that I’ve come to appreciate at the start of each day. They grant me the freedom to let my thoughts wander, or simply be present in the moment. I’m particularly fond of the gentle morning sun, basking in its rays on cooler days. Regardless of the challenges in my life, this daily ritual brings me immense joy and inspiration.
If I can be honest, my inconsistency across various aspects of my life has made me feel like I’m rebuilding from the ground up in every way. The silver lining is that I’m embarking on this journey with invaluable experience; after all, we are the sum of our experiences. However, I am determined not to be defined by them any longer. I am granting myself permission to fully experience the intense emotions that often arise, and instead of suppressing them, I will confront and conquer them head-on. This is the only way I get to create my dream life.
This is me, embracing the journey and overcoming life’s challenges, overcoming fear and doubt as I build the fulfilling life I’ve always envisioned. My hope is to remain consistent and honest with myself while being at peace.
Soft Pastels Life 
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